Moving

Up until this point I have either been too busy, too overwhelmed, or too "something" to write about our move. Then tonight I went to book club. It felt so good to feel like I belonged again ... it opened the flood gates, and now I have to share, or I feel like I will burst.

We were amazed and overwhelmed by the amount of support we received during the move - people came out of the woodwork to help move boxes, unpack boxes, watch Landon, etc. We felt so blessed - we can't stop talking about it (and if you haven't gotten your thank you note yet, it is because I'm a little behind ... but it is on its way I promise!).

We've started to settle in and are pretty much unpacked (decorating is a completely different story though ... that has barely been started!). But you know what? It still doesn't feel like home.

Please don't misinterpret this as complaining, or being ungrateful for the wonderful blessings in our lives. It's simply how I feel still. A house becomes a home because of the love and memories it shares with you. The things you go through together...

And right now? My heart is still in Spanish Fork. Where complete strangers now occupy our town home.

Where we really learned how to be a married couple and put our heart and soul into making a place feel like home.
Where we brought Landon home from the hospital.
Where we learned to become parents.
Where so many of our friends lived just a shout away.

And all that? It takes time ...

The inevitable "how is your ward" question came up tonight. And you know what? It's fine. And I'm sure in a few months or years we'll look back on this time and laugh because we have made good friends. But right now, they seem nice, but distant. With older children and no one who ever seems to be outside. And people who don't think to sit next to you in relief society, even though you are all by yourself.

And Landon has started to ask about his friends. That's the hardest part for us.

Tonight, after book club, when I felt like my heart would break because they were all headed to one place and I was headed somewhere completely different I called Jeff. He and Landon were outside tonight to get the mail. They started talking to a neighbor, who has a little boy a few years older than Landon. Jeff tried helping them talk a bit and the little boy wasn't very welcoming. I'm not judging him - he is five for heaven's sake and Landon is only two - I can see why he wasn't jumping at the chance to play together. But my mommy-heart just broke, and I couldn't help but think of all his friends in Spanish Fork - some of which are that much older and still included him (which I think says a lot about them and their moms :)!) I'll confess ... I cried most of the way home - because of that story, and because, honestly, I missed the friends I was driving away from desperately.

Now before I sound too down, please let me say - we love our new house, and I'm sure as soon as we've made more memories and friends it will truly feel like home (and Jeff is home 45 minutes earlier every night!!). It's just the growing pains of moving. And I'm not very good with change, so thank you for letting me unload.

And I had a good friend point out it's also about what we can give to our neighborhood, too, which was a good reminder to get out there. So we're going to make cookies in the next few days and take them around to introduce ourselves. And I'm certain we'll make some friends. I just have to remind myself that real friends aren't made overnight- but like a home are created one memory at a time.

And until then there might be a few more tears shed and a few more growing pains, and hopefully a schedule that has settled down enough to have more play dates (with our already-made friends :)!) for all of us!