Wednesday, October 3, 2012

He's growing up too fast ...

I would always hear mom's when I was growing up lamenting about their children growing up too fast. I didn't love baby sitting, so I really didn't understand this - who wouldn't want their kids to grow up fast. You know, so they could be an amazing teenager like myself at the time :).

Now, my heart aches watching Landon growing up so fast. With the move and settling in, it has felt like time is on warp speed and has been since July. Several friends have posted about slowing down and taking more time to really enjoy motherhood. I needed to read each one of those. Because sometimes I get so caught up in the living that I forget to enjoy.

And then I take a step back and realize just how quickly it's all going. So lately I have been trying harder to soak it in. Put aside the things that don't matter as much. I'm far from perfect, but I love every second with him.

Do you know, I cry when Landon grows out of clothes? Not because I have to buy more (Hello! That's the fun part!) but simply because he is that much bigger. And I see him every day, so I feel like I almost don't notice until his t-shirts start looking too short...

We can have real conversations now. And they are so funny! I just never know what he'll come up with. One of my favorite things is when he says "come play with me, mama!" It's so stinking cute! And I dread the day he doesn't care to play with just Jeff and I.

Landon also makes it a habit at the dinner table of asking us how our day was. Seriously. It is the cutest and funniest thing ever!

Tonight he was in the bath and I changed into my sweats. You know the type - they are reserved for 6+ months of pregnancy or really long days? And do you know what he said to me? Mama - you look beautiful! Sweetest thing ever.And you know what? Coming from him, I chose to believe it. I will do anything to be beautiful in his eyes, and heaven forbid I destroy what he thinks.

He is really in to "reading" to us now. He has a book called "Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You." It is a pretty long book, but he has a lot of it memorized. It starts out,

"I wanted you more
than you ever will know,
so I sent love to follow
wherever you go"

It goes on to tell all the places that love can follow, and all the adventures the little one can take because love will always find him. He got to a certain page and I just started crying that he could repeat so much of it, and I just was just praying he was internalizing the message - that he understood it was true.

"And if someday you're lonely
or someday you're sad,
or you strike out at baseball,
or think you've been bad...
just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair.
That's me, my sweet baby, my love is right there."

How I hope he knows how much I love him! I can't get enough of him snuggling up to me, or just leaning in to me. And it seems unreal that we will be blessed with two boys to love soon. Two! Sometimes I just pray my heart can hold it all and not burst! I'll take my chances ...

1 comment:

Kristen said...

Oh my gosh, what a sweet book - I LOVE that last little poem!!

Landon is lucky to have you as his mama.