Dear Landon,
Today you started Joy School. I know some people would say “it’s
just Joy School.” You have 1 more year of pre-school even before kindergarten.
But, wow, it feels HUGE to me. You just seem too little, and much too big all
at the same time. I can’t believe you are already three and a half.
I am (and really I should say we – because your daddy feels
the same way) ridiculously proud of how smart, bright, funny and wonderful you
are. You surprise us every day with the things you remember and with your
immense vocabulary. People have stopped us since you were born to tell us how
adorable you are, and to this day it happens all the time. And we agree – you are
really a beautiful boy – inside and out.
You have the biggest heart – you love so completely. What a
gift to have – I love it and hurt for you all at the same time. You will give
and get great love, but it also means you can get hurt. And as your mommy I
want to protect you from everything! Sometimes when I have to hold a boundary
with you seeing the look on your face breaks my heart. I might look stoic, but
inside I am just crumbling. And while
sharing is hard for you, you LOVE having friends and are so social. And my
favorite? You love to snuggle. You will still just climb on my lap and stay
there for a long time. I would keep you there forever.
You sat so still while Daddy gave you a blessing last night.
You listened because you immediately started talking about the Holy Ghost and
had to go get your “Really Ghost Jar” from your room to hold. I hope you always
remember those feelings, even before you completely understand them. When we
went in to put you to bed, and you chose “Love you Forever” as your story, and
miraculously I held it together while we read it, but I couldn’t have said it
any better – I will love you forever, and you will always be my baby.
We asked you what you want to be when you grow up. You said
Sully (the large blue and purple monster from Monsters, Inc.). Daddy then
re-explained the question (just in case you didn’t understand) and you answered
the same thing. You think that being Sully is completely reasonable thing to
grow up to be and that’s what you’ll do when you go into an office like Daddy.
In fact you said: “I will be Sully and I will scare the people in your office.”
Your serious look is one of my very favorites. And really, who are we to argue?
You want to be Sully? Dream big, my friend … we will support you no matter what
your dreams are and where they take you.
I’ll miss you while you’re gone. You are my little buddy and
helper! I know it’s (logically) only six hours a week you’ll be gone. But logic
simply doesn’t matter. It is six hours without you. I’ll miss you. And so will
Liam (oh how he’ll miss you!). But I know you’re ready for something and that
you’ll love it and thrive.
When we came home from your Joy School open house last week you had
learned the first couple of lines to the song. And the next day, without any
other practice, you sang everything you learned (only in your version the joy
starts in your heart then squiggles through your hair :)! So, so cute!) See – you are
ready!
This morning I could tell you were a little nervous because
you wanted to hold on to bear, even for some of your pictures. And it made my
heart hurt a little – it was a clear reminder of how little you really are. You
held him the whole drive over while you talked to daddy (he called you to say
good luck of course!), we listened to your Joy School CD, and then talked a
little bit (while I tried to pretend I wasn’t crying). But when we got there?
You gave bear a kiss and left him in the car and jumped out!
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You are really proud of your red shoes - you wanted some so bad! |
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You were SO excited to see your friends and happily let me
take a few more pictures while you got settled. You’ve always been a bit sad
when you get dropped off someplace, so daddy and I were worried about how that
part would go. But we didn’t need to – you came and gave Liam and me a big kiss
and then you were off! You are so lucky to have Miss Stepper this year. And I’ll
be honest – I think she’s lucky to have you too!
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You and your friend Eisley! |
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Ready to go in! |
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You and Miss Stepper! |
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In your classroom! |
I cried the whole way home. But then when I sat down to
write this, I was ok, because I know that you are ready for this. We hope you
love learning! And that you discover what makes you tick. We love you more than
anything!