Landon's First Day of Joy School!

Dear Landon,

Today you started Joy School. I know some people would say “it’s just Joy School.” You have 1 more year of pre-school even before kindergarten. But, wow, it feels HUGE to me. You just seem too little, and much too big all at the same time. I can’t believe you are already three and a half. 

I am (and really I should say we – because your daddy feels the same way) ridiculously proud of how smart, bright, funny and wonderful you are. You surprise us every day with the things you remember and with your immense vocabulary. People have stopped us since you were born to tell us how adorable you are, and to this day it happens all the time. And we agree – you are really a beautiful boy – inside and out. 

You have the biggest heart – you love so completely. What a gift to have – I love it and hurt for you all at the same time. You will give and get great love, but it also means you can get hurt. And as your mommy I want to protect you from everything! Sometimes when I have to hold a boundary with you seeing the look on your face breaks my heart. I might look stoic, but inside I am just crumbling.  And while sharing is hard for you, you LOVE having friends and are so social. And my favorite? You love to snuggle. You will still just climb on my lap and stay there for a long time. I would keep you there forever. 

You sat so still while Daddy gave you a blessing last night. You listened because you immediately started talking about the Holy Ghost and had to go get your “Really Ghost Jar” from your room to hold. I hope you always remember those feelings, even before you completely understand them. When we went in to put you to bed, and you chose “Love you Forever” as your story, and miraculously I held it together while we read it, but I couldn’t have said it any better – I will love you forever, and you will always be my baby. 

We asked you what you want to be when you grow up. You said Sully (the large blue and purple monster from Monsters, Inc.). Daddy then re-explained the question (just in case you didn’t understand) and you answered the same thing. You think that being Sully is completely reasonable thing to grow up to be and that’s what you’ll do when you go into an office like Daddy. In fact you said: “I will be Sully and I will scare the people in your office.” Your serious look is one of my very favorites. And really, who are we to argue? You want to be Sully? Dream big, my friend … we will support you no matter what your dreams are and where they take you. 

I’ll miss you while you’re gone. You are my little buddy and helper! I know it’s (logically) only six hours a week you’ll be gone. But logic simply doesn’t matter. It is six hours without you. I’ll miss you. And so will Liam (oh how he’ll miss you!). But I know you’re ready for something and that you’ll love it and thrive.

When we came home from your Joy School open house last week you had learned the first couple of lines to the song. And the next day, without any other practice, you sang everything you learned (only in your version the joy starts in your heart then squiggles through your hair :)! So, so cute!) See – you are ready! 

This morning I could tell you were a little nervous because you wanted to hold on to bear, even for some of your pictures. And it made my heart hurt a little – it was a clear reminder of how little you really are. You held him the whole drive over while you talked to daddy (he called you to say good luck of course!), we listened to your Joy School CD, and then talked a little bit (while I tried to pretend I wasn’t crying). But when we got there? You gave bear a kiss and left him in the car and jumped out!

You are really proud of your red shoes - you wanted some so bad!

You were SO excited to see your friends and happily let me take a few more pictures while you got settled. You’ve always been a bit sad when you get dropped off someplace, so daddy and I were worried about how that part would go. But we didn’t need to – you came and gave Liam and me a big kiss and then you were off! You are so lucky to have Miss Stepper this year. And I’ll be honest – I think she’s lucky to have you too!

You and your friend Eisley!

Ready to go in!

You and Miss Stepper!

In your classroom!

I cried the whole way home. But then when I sat down to write this, I was ok, because I know that you are ready for this. We hope you love learning! And that you discover what makes you tick. We love you more than anything!